The Hunt: A Hollowwood Production

The Adventures of Willful and Graceless: Part One and Part Two

Willful prowls through the forest, hatchet in one hand, scythe in the other. The heat is oppressive. He would wipe the sweat off his face, but Graceless has to do it. She is armed with an bow in her left hand with some arrows in a quiver on her back.

They have been tracking some real criminals for awhile now. Their crimes are legion. Thoughtcrime, facecrime, hatecrime, you name it, they did it. The governor asked them- no, pleaded them- to end this threat once and for all.

Down with hatred, bigotry, misogyny, racism, intolerance.

Willful and Graceless stop, their ears picking up the barely audible sound. Thoughtcrime, facecrime, hatecrime in action!

They move as quickly as they can toward the sound. The criminals are so close now, they can taste them. They can feel their evil ways. Thoughtcrime, facecrime, hatecrime.

“We couldn’t stop them earlier,” whispers Willful, as he lays down his scythe and grips his hatchet in both hands.

“But we will stop them from doing any more.” Finishes Graceless as she notches two arrows into her bow.

What lays before them is beyond words. Beyond any sense of decency, beyond self-respect, beyond civility, beyond anything which should be tolerated in a civilized society.

Two men face the other side of the forest. Both of average height and build, clad in hunting gear and camouflage, they grip their guns tightly as they wait for their own prey to emerge. Beer cans and litter clutter the ground. Willful and Graceless use one of the large, broken-down and dirty trailers as cover.

“The hunters are about to become the hunted!” Willful yells as he runs forward, axe raised over his head.

“No more thoughtcrime! No more hatecrime! No more facecrime!”

The men turn, puzzled looks at their faces. IGNORANIA F**K YEAH and I SUPPORT PRESIDENT NON-POLITICIAN are written all over their gear- on the arms, on the chest, on the legs, on their hats.

Willful swings his axe, Graceless launches her arrow.

“No more thoughtcrime, hatecrime, facecrime!” They embrace, crying in triumph. Before they know it, a dozen Contemptibles emerge from the woods, locked and loaded.

“It’s not going to be that easy! Git ’em boys! For Ignorantia! For Non-Politician! F**k yeah!”

“CUT!” Bellows director Royally Righteous, somehow able to do his job and make several powerful Chirps at the same time.

Willful, Graceless and the Contemptibles- only actors, they don’t actually believe that nonsense- stand at attention for their fearless leader.

“I need more emotion from you two. You have been traumatized by these crimes- the ignorance, the bigotry, the hate. Don’t hold back- this is as much for you as it is for society.” He turns to the Contemptibles. “For Ignorantia? For Non-Politician? That’s it? Weak! What would a such a piece of sh*t say before they die? Give me more ignorance, for hatred, more bigotry.”

All nod vigorously before their fearless leader. Director righteous claps his hands. “Let’s take a break. Bring out the entertainment!” Aides rush back and forth, getting the video games ready. Without question, they all choose Call of Duty: Tolerance Vs. Racism.

As they hunt Contemptibles like cattle, one aide taps Royally Righteous on the shoulder.

“What?! I was just about to get a close quarter kill! Do you have any idea how hard those are to do?” He hurls the controller at the TV, smashing the screen. As quickly as that one was damaged, aides wheel in another. “What the f**k is it?! F**k Non-Politician!”

The aide gulps. “F**k Non-Politician. Reporter Scott Hardfacts is here. He wants to speak immediately about The Hunt and a certain party at your house a few days ago.”

Righteous righteously throws another controller at the second TV. Surprisingly, the screen doesn’t break. Still, another is wheeled in. “You need to put more emphasis on the f**k. Some may question your loyalties. Send him in.”

Director Royally Righteous leans back into his director’s chair. “Soon enough, ‘journalists like him will be a thing of the past. An independent press? Ridiculous.”

He looks over at his proteges, Willful and Graceless. “ The Hunt is the only way they will learn. The only way they will abandon their bigotry, hatred, misogyny and racism for truth, tolerance and enlightenment.”

Some took longer to learn. No matter. He would simply have to show them.

Originally published at https://theprimacyofpolitics.blogspot.com.